My Last Week of Youth

Life doesn't stop at 40, but does our youth?

My 30s have been good to me. The last decade served a up a lot - moments of success, opportunities to learn, a hell of a lot of fun. I went to the West Coast for the first time ever, rode a camel in Dubai, and performed drag as a Bio Diva named Sh'needza Mann. (The song was I Will Survive. Of course it was.)

But for as much as I've thrown myself into the chase of gaining new experiences, there were a few elusive things I had to push to nail down before my 40th birthday.

• Become a homeowner. This was a big deal; I'm grateful I decided to finally commit to some real estate. Here's to working for 30 more years to pay for it.
• Get a tattoo. It's not big, but it has huge meaning. Three little letters that are close to my heart, symbolizing my love for my nieces and nephew.
• Negotiate a promotion. It was scary, but I learned how to be my own best advocate.
• Start flossing and taking daily calcium supplements. I started wearing SPF on my face daily when I turned 30, and it has greatly helped me stave off the wrinkles. Flossing and vitamins seemed like good habits for health.
• Reading and writing daily. I have a couple books I want to write, and much to my chagrin, I realized they aren't going to write themselves. Here's to committing to a few moments each day that give my writing skills a workout.
• Bring back the blog. So, let's get a drink sometime and I'll tell you why I have the new URL. I'm just glad I was able to keep my content and start blogging again. I have more to say, and this is where I'll say it.
• Quit toxic relationships. How does a person make you feel? If the answer is sad and miserable, you don't need to keep them in your life.
• Walk away from settling. I realized I deserve more than I allowed myself to have.
• Fall in beautiful, all-encompassing love. I started chasing boys on the playground when I was in second grade. I've been chasing ever since. I finally found a man who chases me back just as hard.

The 30s have been phenomenal. And everyone tells me the 40s are even better. You have the wisdom and experience of your youth, and the bank account of someone with some miles on the odometer. 

Here's to another decade of making mistakes, having fun, and discovering more about this crazy trip we call life.

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Derby Pie

Thanksgiving is upon us, and Jeannie has tasked me with the job of bringing dessert. This is a job I really relish; I've been making Derby Pie from scratch for nearly 20 years.

Derby Pie is a traditional pecans-chocolate chips-bourbon confectionery (though Kern's Kitchen out of Louisville claims the official Derby Pie is made with walnuts) beloved across the Bluegrass State. I've perfected mine over the years and use two secret ingredients that make this a home run winner. I typically won't give up both of my secret ingredients in one sitting, but if you give me enough bourbon I might oblige.

And that reminds me of a third ingredient: wine. I always make every pie with a cup of wine. Or maybe two cups. It depends on how much you need to sip on while you're mixing ingredients and rolling out crust.

Food & Wine has a pretty solid Derby Pie recipe for those of you still mulling your holiday menu.

Tomorrow, I'll share a great recipe for those of you who crave a bit of pumpkin after your turkey.

katycrossen.com by Katy Crossen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Thoughts On The Election

This post comes from a letter I sent to a friend in response to an email she sent in solidarity after the Presidential election. I was a strong, loud advocate for Hillary Clinton, and the loss served a crushing blow to my spirit and patriotism. But in my free-flow response, I found a glimmer of hope and an inkling of a plan. I hope you find the same. - KC

I am completely crushed - crushed for we working women, many of whom still deal with sexism, unequal pay, and higher standards of performance than our male peers.

I am crushed for my Latino, Asian and African American friends, whose skin serves as a permanent badge of courage and physical reason for discrimination.

I am crushed for my Muslim friends, who only seek lives of political peace and the freedom to worship – the same ideals sought by those who landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620.

I am crushed for my LGBTQ friends, who in the past year and a half have reveled in the freedom to marry and enjoy other legal protections that straight couples have taken for granted for centuries.

I am crushed for people with disabilities, people who are low income, seniors, and the children of our nation. These groups have the least influence and fewest resources, and because they do not greatly contribute to our nation’s ledger of business, their needs will be disregarded and raided to give the wealthiest even more.

But the sadness I felt last night, and the despondency I felt this morning, it is turning into a new feeling: anger. Anger because of things beyond my control like the Electoral College, and rage at a voting constituency – nearly half our nation – with whom I cannot identify.

But the Democratic Party is the group to which I have assigned the lion’s share of my ire. The party needs to wake up and really evaluate how we can achieve rousing success at the ballot box.

The Obama candidacy woke a nation – the millennials, the African Americans, the progressives, and it was because it provided the constituency with an awe inspiring alternative to the status quo. And as much as I will still say that “ImWithHer,” the HRC campaign was not nearly as emotional. It was smart and thoughtful, and Hillary Clinton did her best to include a few of Bernie Sanders’ planks in her platform, but this go around was still old guard, establishment politics at its finest.

I don’t know if someone completely outside of the establishment is what we need, but it is clear that’s what the people wanted this election. And so here we are, bracing and holding our collective breaths, waiting to see whether the end is really nigh.

This anger, though. I have a glimmer of a plan. I intend to get even more ingrained in local politics. Not as a candidate – but as a volunteer, advocate, and donor. I cannot sit back and let local politics experience a similar, fearful fate. And I hope my active neighbors will do the same. If we can revitalize our neighborhoods and street corners, perhaps we can ignite a small but mighty movement that carries on to Washington.

In two years, we will vote on every U.S. Representative seat, a third of all Senate seats, and 36 of 50 governorships. November 6, 2018 is a big day to hold Washington accountable for what transpires during the next two years. And after that race, I fully expect we’ll learn which Democratic candidate(s) want to take a run at taking back the White House.

And I will be ready to fight.

Until then I am going to try and save more of my money, keep an eye on the DJIA and add more to my 401(k) designation when the Dow drops. And I’m going to spend more time talking to my neighbors – really getting to know the people who live near me, shop at my neighborhood grocery, and work at the local businesses.

It’s time to mend fences, build relationships and discover that we have more in common with our neighbors than we have differences.

katycrossen.com by Katy Crossen is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.