Peace On Earth

So, yesterday was a clusterfuck explosion.

My apologies for the expletive, but it's the most appropriate word to describe what unfolded at the conclusion of my holiday break.

Rather than give you the blow-by-blow (because really, when looking at the series of events from afar, it's all a bunch of chicken shit), I am going to share with you a few nuggets of how I turned my frown upside down and made Monday a winner.

How droll.

So, there I was. Monday morning. Signing paperwork so a tow truck driver could take my almost 10-year-old Saab to the dealership for some calamity involving that most terrifying image on the dashboard - the crimson red Check Oil light. I say dealership because my two preferred local auto shops have some crazy idea of taking a break for the holidays. Both close their doors between Christmas and New Year's, leaving the rest of us to wail and gnash our teeth. Or support the dealership.

But I digress.

A couple hours later I found myself back in the safe confines of Over-the-Rhine (you know, this kind of stuff doesn't happen in my neighborhood), ready to crank up the endorphins.

Piling on the North Face, the wool and the sunglasses, I set out for a walk through downtown. After a spin through the bank, I walked to Fountain Square and decided to cruise through the skywalks. Have you done that lately? Some of the city's skywalk segments have been demolished, but you can still travel from the Westin to the Hilton Netherland/Tower Place/Carew Tower and then on to Macy's/Tiffany & Co./Palomino via skywalk. The enclosed pathways make a convenient way of getting around downtown when the temperature is making parts of your body cut glass or shrivel up.

Anyway.

Skywalk. I took it to Tower Place mall and discovered that, while this mall is a few pulses away from life support, Cincinnati's TJ Maxx is pretty kick ass.

There is one thing in this world that can make me feel better when I'm coping with heartache and tear stained cheeks. That one thing is shoes.

Shoes, glorious shoes.

So, there's a part of me that completely identifies with Toni Collette's character in the movie, In Her Shoes. She's the dorky older sister who has nothing in common with her younger sister. Rose is successful in her professional endeavors, but her personal life leaves a bit to be desired. And she has the most amazing shoe collection.

Doesn't quite fit me to a T, but it's close.

Shoes. The best way to make the corners of my mouth crinkle up. The best way to wash away hurtful statements and misunderstandings and disappointments. Shoes.

So very Carrie, eh?

I untied my Merrell walking shoes - the ones that still have purple on them from ArtsWave's Paint The Street - and peeled off my dingy black socks to lace up one of the most beautiful pair of shoes.

A pair of black-and-white, polka dotted, Betsey Johnson stilettos with beautiful satin bows on the side. Originally around $160, on sale at TJ's for $80.

Really, this picture does not do these shoes justice

I strutted over to the mirror, my jeans rolled up and my heart singing, thinking about stepping out of a car in these shoes as I headed to the Aronoff/a fabulous dinner/New Year's with friends/You Name It.

And the entire time my conscience was saying, "Are you crazy, woman? Your car is at the effing dealership. Are you ready for that expense?"

With some of the information that has come in since yesterday about my car, I am partially inclined to think I should have bought those shoes. But that's a story for another time.

Another pair of Betseys. So freaking cute.

After I strolled up the aisles of the TJ Maxx in these cute shoes, I was feeling pretty grand. The kind of feeling that strikes a girl when she's rocking stilettos. The kind of feeling that makes me want to say, "Okay, assholes. Who's next? Mama's kicking ass and taking names."

And then I put the shoes back on the shelf.

Common sense won out in this battle. If I really, really want the shoes, and if my budget can swing it, I'm going to go back to TJ Maxx later this week. If they're still there, it's meant to be.

The real win was successfully coping with my bum mood.

When we're babies and little kids, we can cry and scream and throw tantrums and mom and dad rush in to make us smile. They prop us up with toys or hugs and kisses or lollypops. When we're grown ups, it's up to us to make ourselves feel great.

Sure, we have friends and husbands and wives and significant others who can lend a hand and offer a pick-me-up, but we're really the only ones responsible for our own emotions.

And I am clearing out the cobwebs, erradicating the bad juju and making my corner of the world a little bit happier.

Because "Peace on Earth" begins with me, and I'm owning it.


Kate's Random Musings by Kate the Great is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.