Work It

An apron and stilettos - that's all anyone needs to look good while cooking naked.

Photo by Chris Glass

(Ed. note: I normally don't think my body is anything to write home about. At 5' 8", I'm tall. And I'm definitely curvy; Bluegrass Brit says my rack is 38-G for "Gorgeous." But those legs. I had no idea. They're not half bad. And not an inch of cankle, huh? I've got to start wearing more skirts and dresses. These gams aren't going to look like this forever...)

I donned my peach-and-flower Crate and Barrel apron for my presentation at Ignite Cincinnati last week. My presentation was entitled, "How to Look Good While Cooking Naked." Cleverly titled but a bit misleading (c'mon people - it's all about how you pitch it, right?), I came right out of the gate explaining that I wasn't going to talk much about nudity.

I proceeded to toss to a pic of Kathy Bates wrapped in plastic wrap in a scene from Fried Green Tomatoes.

Definitely NOT looking good while cooking naked.

Armed with my trusty wooden spoon-cum-pointer, I interacted with my lively power point, which included pics of Paula Deen, a chef using surgical tweezers to assemble an artful dish, and me wrapped in blue saran wrap.

Okay, so it was only from the waist up, and it was part of a Halloween costume. It was totally kosher. Totally.

Wait, is plastic wrap kosher?

Anyway.

The whole point of my talk was this:

• You don't need all of the accoutrements that fill up your junk drawer to cook well
• Same with all those potions and spices and oils and extracts - you don't need 'em
• The fact is - most people only need ten basic ingredients. Take a look at what you use on a regular basis - those are your ten necessities
• Four "flavor agents" are the key to cooking simply and beautifully. Look for dishes that only require four elements
• Work on your presentation. Take time to make something look beautiful. If you fail, do it again

Leading up to all this pith, I did run down some rules for people who REALLY wanted to talk about cooking in the buff:

• Put the mandolin away. There's no need to bring out an ultra sharp blade when appendages are flying
• Make sure you have plenty of hot pads. Nobody wants a weird third degree burn someplace unmentionable
• The Paula Deen Rule: The Fry Daddy (or anything else that boils oil or water) is a recipe for disaster where exposed flesh is concerned

I did conclude by saying, if you really want to cook naked, cover up with an apron and a hot pair of shoes - because nobody really wants to see all that stuff goin' on when they're about to eat dinner.

Ignite Cincinnati regularly serves up a heaping helping of conversation; this month's talks ranged from P.G. Sittenfeld's presentation on the qualities commonly found in the world's happiest people, to Candace Klein's launching of an investment group to assist women starting small businesses.

The idea here at IC is people sharing their passions, exchanging ideas, interests and insights.

You don't have to wear a pair of stilettos to look good and talk about what fires you up... but those shoes just might be the key to firing up someone else.

Kate's Random Musings by Kate the Great is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.