Talking and Not Talking

"We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about."
Sherri Ann Cabot in Best in Show

There's something about the lull that is wonderful.

The time and place when you can sit with someone and just be - together. It can happen from time to time with a new acquaintance, but more and more it spontaneously occurs with a soul you've known for a while.

I love that comfortable, stressless moment when I don't have to grapple for a question, comment or other conversational nugget to rile a response from my company. Conversations that flow freely are delicious, but sometimes it feels good to just experience the surroundings with someone without saying a word.

I started thinking about this after having a conversation with my friend Josie. I became friends with this hilarious man years ago and we got re-acquainted after discovering we live in the same city once again. He's the kind of guy whom I can have a beer with and not really wonder what's happening under the surface. Our friendship is a simple layer of authentic honesty - we can sit there and watch TV or go out to a local watering hole and not wonder about the unsaid.

Because there isn't much that's unsaid. It's all out there - simple, understood and not complicated.

Marriages, familial bonds - those can get complicated because the relationships have a tendency for intensity on occasion. But friendships - those are supposed to be easy. Those are the experiences where we shouldn't be expected to try hard. Those are the relationships where we're supposed to feel good being ourselves and enjoying another person's genuine company.

And sometimes that means not saying a word.

Mia: Don't you hate that? Vincent: What? Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable? Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question. Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.