Paris Out Of The Poky

I know so many people don't care -but research* indicates otherwise.

So many people are incensed by the the way this non-celebrity has become famous.

Paris Hilton can't act. She can't sing. She can't write. Paris likely can't even apply her own make up.

This woman has no talent worthy of global celebrity, and so that's why I'm applying to replace her.

I can write. Take a look at the blog - you'll notice I can manipulate the English language from time to time.

Believe it or not, I can sing, too. I almost majored in Voice in college and I still love to test out my pipes at the local karaoke watering hole.

I like to make jewelry. I've got a couple necklaces made from beads I've collected on my travels around the globe - and never fail - someone asks me if I make jewelry for a living when I wear them.

And I can cook, too. I make a mean pie crust (from scratch) and I love love love to make cakes. I know my way around a saute pan, too, and you'll just have to trust me when I say that my Chicken Pot Pie is the best you'll ever have.

I am certain I have more talent to offer this globe than Paris Hilton, and that's why I'm applying for the job Celebrity.

Any takers?

*The research constitutes of how many people voted on a local news poll on Paris Hilton. More than 1600 people had voted on their pleasure/displeasure by 4:15 pm. It's a poll that normally sees 700 votes by the same time period.