Memory Lane

F- you were my first kiss. I haven't seen you since our moving van pulled out of Appleseed Drive 15 years ago, but my mom talks to your mom so I know you live on the West Side. I hear you're married. I always wonder whether I'll run into you or even whether I'd recognize you. I guess if we ended up together we would have stayed in Cincinnati and spawned Chia pet children, considering we each had white-kid afro hair growing up.

R used to chase me up and down the street at my Grandma's house. He was feisty and we loved running around, catching lightning bugs and playing tag. I guess I'd be living in a trailer park if we ended up together. His family didn't come from much and R didn't strike me as the academic type...

J was my first big girl kiss. He was brilliant, but uber dorky. Smart, like crazy/scary smart. We kissed in a closet while watching The Life of Brian with friends at his home on Richborough Dr. His mother was a research physician on the cutting edge of solving the AIDS epidemic and his father was an attorney who didn't work. J was freaky - like, into Star Wars crap and those D & D games and the such. Cute in a dorky way but weird. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for dorks. I imagine I'd still be on the East Coast if J and I got married. It was a brief relationship and I suppose that's for the best.

D, I loved you so much. We were two peas in a pod in high school, I even helped you break the law several times acting as the getaway driver while you and your friend stole street signs all over town. I imagine we'd be living in North Carolina if we had ended up together. What a mess. You had this Peter Pan complex and really struggled with responsibility and consequence. What a tough road to hoe through adulthood.

M and I briefly dated in college. The relationship was in trouble from the start because M's best friend happened to be my best friend as well. She liked him but he liked me. Talk about a bizarre love triangle. M went to school in Indiana and he was getting his degree in some engineering field. The distance and strained friendships were the death knell for this budding romance.

J was a fleeting moment my Junior (or was it Senior?) year in college. J was a bit older than me but terribly handsome and had a personality streaked with cocky. I just couldn't stand myself around him. If I had married J, I'd still be in Lexington enjoying life being an attorney's wife. On second thought, I don't know that I would be enjoying it - I'd bet dollars to donuts that J cheats on his current wife. I remember running into J maybe three years ago at Keeneland. It was so surreal... he had this baby sitting on his shoulders and he was kind of stalking my group of friends and me as we traveled from concession stand to betting window. What did he think I'd say? "Yes, J. I'd love to meet up with you some time. How about you dump your baby somewhere and we'll go catch up on old times"?? Right.

R. I am so glad you and I didn't end up together. Some college friends introduced us and we dated for a few months. If I had ended up with you, no doubt I would be spending my time at home taking care of our kids while you hit the town and drank every bar dry. No thank you.

C. Talk about heartbreak. You turned my world and heart upside down and inside out. I pretty much would have done anything for you. You left me high and dry and it took a good few years to get over the mess of my emotions. I can't imagine what life would have been like had we gotten married. In hindsight, I don't know that you're capable of saying an honest word. I don't know whether you really feel genuine feelings. I don't know that I could stand being in a relationship and not being the pretty one, and I guess that says volumes about my vanity - and yours.

J. I really tried to make things work for us but I don't know that you were ready in your life for anything serious. I guess our working together made for another strain on the relationship, and then C. Well, that was trouble, too. Life takes interesting twists and turns, and I guess our relationship was like a bad Lifetime movie. I suppose the theme song would be Garth Brooks' Unanswered Prayers.

K was pretty much a waste of time. He was very polite though, and that was a major plus in my book. If we got married, we'd be living in North Carolina and probably even working together. Gosh, sometimes that's just too much togetherness.

J was one of the best boyfriends I've ever had. He was funny, kind and full of compliments. We met thanks to the wonders of the internet and dated for a few months. He wasn't my 100% perfect match, and I suppose I wasn't his. To this day J and I are good friends, trading frequent texts and phone calls. I don't really know - some friends say the calls are because J went back on the dating scene and realized it's slim pickings. I don't really know about that, but I do know I'm glad J and I are friends.