Kate Undercover

Notes from Government Square

8:04 am. What's up with the dude who sits in front of me on the bus every day? He rocks and rocks and rocks away in his seat, almost as if the perpetual motion of the bus depends on his nervous tick. I wonder whether he's had too much coffee in the morning or if there are more clinical forces at work here. Bus 12x is a cornucopia of human study. There's the lady who daily wears a head of hair with three times her God given volume. I'm all about some big hair now and then, but her artful reconstruction of strands and hair spray makes me really wonder who was responsible for the Ozone crisis in the 1980s.

8:17 am. Children should save their booty dancing for places better than the downtown bus center. Government Square is always full of CPS students, many of them looking fly in their bubble coats and flashy shoes. I remember when I was in school - always trying to impress the masses. I guess I just missed that step when it progressed from Air Jordans to air humping.

8:20 am. Lady with a black wool, wide brimmed hat. She's got on a fur trimmed black poncho (hope it's none of that dog fur) and a few, kinky strands coming from her chinny-chin chin. At first glance, she looked like a big, curvy version of Fr. Guido Sarducci - toting along a multi colored sequin handbag and a cream colored leather satchel. I was dying to shout out Hey sister, where you goin' in such a getup?

8:24 am. I am really an equal opportunity kind of gal. I love people of all kinds, but I really don't know how to break it easy to one of the guys who continually stares at me while I'm waiting for Bus 39. This gentleman is probably in the neighborhood of 5'2", an unfortunate circumstance consider I tower over him at a lofty and flat footed 5'8". This little guy moons over me, trying to make eye contact with me but I intentionally stare over his head, eying the Dunkin' Donuts at the Fifth Third building. I unfortunately will never be able to tell this guy about the difficulty in bridging our differences - because he speaks Spanish. I only know how to say Hola - and Ciao.

Stay tuned for more observations from Kate Undercover.