Why does dating involve so many games? I, myself, am not a playa. I'm a straight shootin' chick who doesn't really try to manipulate people for my own personal benefit. I have little to no expectations when it comes to blossoming relationships and bring nothing but honesty when someone opens himself up to me.
That said, sometimes a girl feels like she's gotta get in the game playing business when she repeatedly gets played herself.
(This is when those of you out there say, Don't hate the playa, hate the game, yo. Whatever.)
Now, I don't think I'm getting played now. In fact, I feel like 2006 has brought me nothing but nice, intelligent men full bursting with integrity and respect. The year's not over yet, but so far, so good. But life wasn't always this good in my hood (random shoutout to T-Homas here), in fact there were some times in my life when I was quite taken advantage of, getting played more than a penny slot at Caesar's.
It pretty much sucks, to put it bluntly, to be caught in this Catch-22 of dating.
- Don't put up a front, bring on the honesty, and have someone trash/take advantage of you
- Bring on the game playing and never really establish the makings of a genuine relationship
I'm sticking to my guns on this one though, folks.
There's no need to cheat a chance at an honest relationship all for the sake of manipulating someone into doing they wouldn't do on their own. That's just so cheap.
9 comments:
I agree. Game playing at our age is so tired. However, I think girls have to hold a little bit back. Whether emotionally or physically we can't go "all the way" on the first date, right? Guys still like a challenge.
You are so right, Miss Denae. I often have to remind myself to not get caught up in all the fiery romance that erupts at the beginning. As much as I get excited at the beginning of things, I need to remember how easy it is to commit relationship suicide...
Girl, did you just call me cheap?!!!
Or better yet, did you call me a loser??
No! No! No!
I can't play the game. I'm too transparent! I just hate it when I'm on the other end of game playing. I don't know if I'm naive or gullible (i think a bit of both, actually), but I always assume the person I start dating is being honest/up front with me. It's only later that I discover I've been burned by a player who has an agenda/selfish intentions.
I guess that's mostly why I hate game playing...
Maybe I can shed a little light on this topic....I don't think Nat is calling herself out as a "playa," but saying that she is playing the relationship game. You know when you make a move and then back off waiting to see what the reaction is? Or, you play it cool so you don't freak out the person you're seeing? You keep your cards close to your vest. Hold back some of your thoughts...and wait to see where it goes.
Nat isn't leading someone on...she's hoping to make all the right moves to lead them in...hoping for a rleationship. At least that's what I see happening.
NB-C, great comment. Yeah, I never thought Nat was calling herself out as a "player" on her blog. Nat doesn't strike me as the "love 'em and leave 'em" type.
I just read her post and it make me think about players in general...
I totally get what you say about keeping your cards close to the vest, though. I am cursed as the type of person who wears my heart on my sleeve, and could certainly prescribe to that philosophy.
I wasn't ripping on Nat!! I wanted to write about the kind of people I get burned by from time to time (and there is a vast difference between the two)!
I understand. Nat would be the first to tell you that she rushes head first into things and then gets hurt easily.
I'm aware of some of the times where this has happened to you as well and it sucks...big time.
When are we going to a game?
No worries - no worries...
NB-C said it appropriately - I started replying and then got diverted by a round of game playing with the boy that has appropriately thrown me for a loop...more later...
N
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