Tuesday's Top Ten (Albeit A Day Late): How To Flirt

I watched that ABC show How To Get The Guy on Monday night. Not bad, in all, and I even learned a few things about reeling the opposite sex into my snare.

Truth be told, I have a difficult time letting a guy know I'm interested in him (this coming from the girl who once downed a live cicada on a dare to impress a guy). I either go for broke and engage in a full on attack on his senses and essentially ask him out (which apparently guys do not go for?) or I initiate a complete retreat, powerless to even look at or talk to the intended target.

Hey, wait. When did flirting with a guy become a battle?

Well, ladies. I guess some of you would say it has.

Here's a look at what I'm guessing is the best weaponry as you try to catch the prince and make him yours for good.

10. Buy him a drink. I suppose it can be a modern day version of "dropping the hanky" as the coaches on The Show repeatedly refer to.

9. Smile. Forget the lipstick and the eyeliner. It's so corny, but there's nothing else you can do to make your face look a million times better. If you can genuinely show your target that you're happy and having a good time, then you're steps ahead everyone else. Besides, do you think guys want to date a sourpuss.

8. Out and out flattery. Compliments go a long way. Don't you love it when someone gives you props for a new pair of shoes or a new haircut? Guys feel the same way. Whether it be their eyes, their shirt or the way they drive a car, make sure you give them a genuine compliment. You'll be sending them a message to keep doin' what they're doing, so you don't want to pat him on the back for something that could end up driving you crazy.

7. Touch him. Not that way, you dirty girl! At least not yet... Step into their personal space a little bit and touch their arm or knee, depending on the dynamics of the situation. That little bit of contact is a great way to let them know you're there and interested in being close.

6. Stare. The coaches on the show say four seconds is the minimum to set the tone and let someone know you're into him. True story: my mother stared a man down in a bar 32 years ago. Today they're happily married and have three kids. I guess if it worked for her (and my mom isn't a ballsy type) it can work for any of us.

5. Know something about sports. I don't care if you're an expert on curling, mushing in Alaska or cricket. Guys like sports. They get sports. If you can at least speak a little bit of their language (and let's hope it's not Klingon), they'll really dig ya.

4. Impress him. Back to the bug eating thing. Okay, so it wasn't the most romantic endeavor I've participated in, but it did make me stand out. Whether you're a dynamite karaoke star or a whiz at political trivia, have something in your back pocket you can pull out to make your guy sit back and stare in amazement.

3. Entice him with your beauty. Okay. You don't have to bring out the girls (unless that's your schtick), but do preen a little bit and show him what makes you special. Maybe it's your great gams or your ghetto booty. Maybe you lick your Angelinalicious lips. Every chick has one spot on her bod that she's proud of. Accentuate it. Love it. Live it.

2. Repeated contact. Let's face it. Some guys (read: all) are not in tune with the way we communicate. Sometimes you need to essentially hit them over the head with a billyclub. Who knows. Maybe they misinterpret that arm touch as your way of stabilizing yourself in those four inch stillettos. Maybe they think you're staring because you have a thyroid condition. Maybe they take your lip licking as a habit when you're sans chapstick. You've got to keep all these little techniques up so the light finally goes on, Oh... this chick is into me.

1. Be yourself. It's so cliche, but it's Rule Numero Uno. How miserable would it be to snag some guy who likes you because you're acting like you've got a stick shoved up your ass? Chances are you'd catch the antithesis of your perfect match. If you're sporty and silly, be that way. If you're a high maintenance chick who likes wine tastings and Mondrian art, then get on with your bad self. At some point you'll gravitate towards someone who likes you just the way you are.


Now all I need to do is follow my own advice. I'll keep you posted!