Check Engine

Sometimes I feel like life is a lot like spinning plates.

I imagine myself to be dressed up in a tuxedo and top hat, front and center at some retro show like the Ed Sullivan Show.

I'm running around, trying to make sure all those plates are whirling in the air, terrified any one of those pieces of porcelain could come crashing down off its stick at any moment.

These plates don't come from any specific china pattern. All a mish mash of designs, but all precious to my life. Finances. Family. I run over to the Work plate and give it a good spin before it gets good and wobbly. Home whirls around without any trouble, and right next to it is Faith, and Social Life is right beyond.

You have to tend to each plate accordingly. Spending too much time on one will lead a few others to get off kilter, threatening those teetering revolutions. And just when I feel like every plate is spinning along smoothly, something happens and one falls off its stick.

Right now I'm worried one of my plates could come crashing down at any moment.

Last night the Check Engine light lit up my dashboard.

I don't know what the problem is, and am a bit of a Nervous Nelly when it comes to these kinds of things. I've got about 50 bucks in savings and am just praying this is just some random, tiny tweak of a problem. I am three heartbeats away from terrified and have just about bit all of my nails off over this taxing situation.

What happens if my engine explodes? What happens if my engine needs hundreds and hundreds (and hundreds) of dollars in work? What happens if I am stranded in some God-forsaken place at an inopportune time? How would I get to work if my car breaks down?

What happens if something terrible happens and I am injured (or worse) in a bad car crash?

These are the kind of daymares running through my head when I'm not distracted by the day to day things like work, crushes on boys and other sugar-plummed thoughts.

I called the local Saab dealership and have an appointment on Monday (since I'm already taking it off as a vacation day) so they can repair something related to a recall. Hopefully they can just hook my car up to their computer and find out what is setting off the light.

I know it's not my gas cap. I clicked it three times to make sure it wasn't loose and affecting my gas tank.

Lord, have mercy.

That's all I can have in this situation. Faith. Thank goodness I have a lot of it.