Happy Hour

From Friday's Feast

Appetizer
On average, approximately how many times per day do you yawn?
Depends. Is this a coffee day? Then maybe once or twice. Did I stay up 'til 2 AM? Then it's more like five times.

Soup
What was your most memorable school field trip?
The one where I went overseas and actually got to perform at Notre Dame and the National Cemetery at Normandy. I must admit, that was pretty sweet.

Salad
Fill in the blank: I was extremely _happy_ this week.

Main Course
Which color do you think of when you hear the word "soothing?"
I think of this color

Dessert
What is something that, if you had to, you could save up the money to buy within one month?
A set of tires. Wow, that's sexy.

Friday I'm In Love

Biscuit got that song in my head last night and I just can't stop humming it.

So last night was the last evening for my three-baseball-games-in-a-week marathon, and it proved to be my favorite night.

And it had nothing to do with the sticks and balls.

I was pleasantly surprised when I discovered my latest crush would be showing up for the festivities. Gosh, there's something so exciting about growing in to those hot, new feelings for someone. Your heart has a way of skipping a beat when you see the person you're crushin' on, and those electric endorphins race through every vein, every capillary in your being.

At least that's how I feel when I'm diggin' on someone.

Biscuit showed up and seemed to fit perfectly from the start. The one thing I really like about this guy is how laid back he is. Biscuit doesn't act like he's too cool for school. He's smart, hilarious and handsome, and yet he is really modest about his place in this world - that's totally admirable and really hot. Biscuit managed to wake up at 5:30 yesterday morning, worked two jobs and drove around 450 miles yesterday, and yet he was still pleasant to be around.

I don't know whether there's anybody else I could say that about.

I really felt bad for the guy because he had no idea what he was getting into when he showed up at the ballpark. My crew of friends let it be known they were going to do everything they could to scare this guy/embarrass me as a payback for every teasing joke (and I've made more than my share) about my friends and the new relationships they're in.

But payback's a bitch, isn't it?

Lets just say the jokes got pretty off color and someone even referred to Biscuit as my boyfriend for added shock value. I accepted the fact I was going to be in for a long night, but was especially grateful because Biscuit appeared to take everything in stride, boyfriend comment and all.

We ditched the game in the 13th of the 15 innings played last night (seriously), and I asked Biscuit if he wanted to go out for a drink afterwards.

And I just felt like things clicked.

I don't feel like I have to be someone else with Biscuit. I just feel so comfortable and special with this guy. I feel like I can say all my silly jokes and yet be smart around him, too. It's a rare thing: finding a guy who's not intimidated by jack-assedness and intelligence.

Speaking of intelligence, Biscuit touted his NTN trivia prowess on the way to the bar. For all the trash talking, I am pleased to report that LOLITA managed to beat BUBBA not once, but twice last night.

Then Biscuit drove me back to my car, and I got the best kiss I've had in a long time.

I know I've been on a kick to learn something at every baseball game I go to, but honest to God, I cannot remember anything about the game last night. I know someone explained a new rule to me, but I cannot remember for the life of me what it is. I was too enthralled with my company.

I definitely want to know more about this Biscuit.

Cloud Nine

If directions were available to this mythical place, they would lead you right to me.

At least today.

Kate the Great will bring you the latest details when there is more time to make them available (gosh that sounds so newzy).

Ice Cream For Breakfast

A pint of Graeter's peach ice cream is the best way to start a day, especially when you're feeling a little puny after a wild night out on the town.

Who knew the Barry Larkin bobblehead night at Great American Ball Park would turn into such a ballyhoo? I won't go in to all the hysterics, but essentially the evening involved good friends, some beer and at least a couple criminal acts.

It's all good until somebody gets hurt or goes to jail, right?

Since eating my pint of ice cream for breakfast, I have managed to cram pad thai (my own recipe) and a barbecue sandwich into my belly. I feel kind of like I am on the road to Fat Bastard's waistline.

Tonight I am in for another baseball game. Who knows what I'll learn there tonight. There is a possibility that hot guy from Friday night will be at the game, so that would really be a home run.

Yeah, there's more that I could say about that situation right now, but for now I think I'll keep it close to my chest. Heh heh.

Cheers.

Don't Stop Til' You Get Enough

It's Groundhogs Day in Kate's world.

Okay, not really. That would suck because that would mean it's February, effin' cold and daylight would be at a premium.

Anyway.

I'm really jazzed because I get to go back to the Great American Ball Park for more heckling, those fabulous weiners (actually last night I was all about a brat, some sauerkraut and spicy mustard) and some Miller Lite.

I made a last minute decision to go with some people for another night of Reds versus Royals. On top of things, tonight is Barry Larkin bobblehead night (they have, like 40 thousand of those things to give to the 22 thousand fans who will show up), so at least I'll be leaving the ballpark with a cool souvenir.

Last night's game was awesome. Lots of laughs, good food, and I even managed to learn something. I asked why players could run past first plate and not get tagged out, and had no idea that was a rule that applied specifically to that bag.

The time before I learned what happened if a player got walked when there was already somebody on first base.

Yeah, so I'm like a million years behind the rest of the world. At least I'm learning.

Besides, I can always be counted on for some good cheering...

Social Butterfly

Cincinnati has several social scenes erupting over the next few days.

There is apparently an International Beer Tasting Thursday night at The Pub in Crestview Hills, sponsored by the Covington-Kenton County Jaycees.

If you're looking for something on the North side of the river, Mulligans in Hyde Park is hosting a happy hour to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina. That event is Friday from 5:30 to 9:00. Ten bucks will get you in the door and get you ten drafts to drink.

Just a couple cool things I found while perusing my Young Professionals email.

Cheers.

Kennedy, Kennedy, Kennedy

That's always what I thought Cameron was saying at the ballpark in Ferris Bueller's Day Off (a cinematic classic and a must for any child of the 80s or those who want to act like they actually know about the 80s). I was just informed by Double Platinum that I was wrong. Apparently it was "He can't hit. He can't hit. He can't hit."

Anyway.

I am so ready for some baseball.

Kate the Great is getting ready for a little glove love tonight at the Great American Ball Park. The Reds are taking on the (wait, let me look at the ticket)... Oh yeah, the Kansas City Royals.

I love baseball. I really don't know so much about the rules n' stuff (Big Blue Blood had to stop my applause when I mistakenly started clapping for the Cubbies at my last game), but I sure am into the crowd antics, the big screen entertainment and all the thug songs the baseball players pick before they step up to bat.

I, for one, would pick In Da Club by the prolific 50 Cent if I were a professional baseballer.

But I guess that's another dream for another day.

One other thing I love about the ballpark: the food. Now, I am as big a fan as you will find for edamame (those wacky soybean pods with the yummy beans inside), but I've got to cry foul about that stuff being sold along side cheesy nachos and peanuts.

And don't even get me started about those big, hot weiners (this is an inside joke that all you dirty people may not get).

Another great thing about Cincinnati's ballpark is the beer. Okay, okay. You can probably find brew at every ballpark in the country, but Cincinnati's a beer drinking town so there's a special prerequisite that every baseball fan must be drinking at least one beer at all times.

I've got no problem adhering to that rule.

And don't forget about Cincinnati's storied connection to the 7th Inning Stretch. Legend says it was William Howard Taft, 27th President of the United States and Cincinnati native who gave birth to this long standing baseball tradition.

Who knew a 300 pound man would want to get up out of his seat and give his legs a workout?

Tonight's game isn't the only one on my calendar. I'm heading to the Florence Freedom (smaller tri-state team that offers up the ever popular Thirsty Thursday dollar drafts) later this week for some minor league action. Hey, it's the perfect place to be social the day before payday...

Cheers.

On The Wires

Here's an interesting nugget: A new study is linking birth order to homosexuality. Apparently a man is more likely to be gay if he has several older brothers. When recalling my years of watching Nick at Night, I never really thought Chip Douglas of My Three Sons was gay. I don't know how much I buy into this philosophy...

***

Big Blue Blood and I were talking about this next one:
How would you feel if your father gave away his millions (or in this case, billions) to charity instead of passing the buck(s) on to you? Warren Buffett just signed away 30 billion dollars to the Bill and Melinda Gates charitable foundation, extolling the virtues of charitable giving instead of hefty inheritances.

Buffett says children of rich parents don't learn the value of hard work and saving money. So what does that mean? Kids born with a silver spoon become lady, good-for-nothing party kids who hang out on the beach with their surf boards and margaritas?

Wait, that sounds like another Buffett.

***

Speaking of inheritances, Anna Nicole Smith can start picking out her tricked out double wide and a nice set of grills. E. Pierce Marshall has died. His name may not ring a bell for you, but it's one ANS is quite familiar with. Mr. Marshall is Anna Nicole's dead husband's son, and the same dude who has fought her tooth and nail over daddy's millions. His death was eclipsed by Aaron Spelling's passing last week, and only revealed this week.

Now maybe Anna Nicole can cash her check, bury the hatchet with Bobby Trendy and bring back all that fabulous, luxurious pink crap to decorate her humbly trashy abode.


***

I am sure people in Lexington are devastated by the news that Kevin Richardson is dropping out of the Backstreet Boys. I know I, for one, have been dying to hear what the Estill County native was going to turn out along with his cousin Bryan Littrell (of Lexington) and the rest of the Backstreet gang. Seriously. I don't even know why this story made the front of the Google News page... I thought Backstreet took the dusty, bumpy road to Hasbeenland. Oh well.

Now you know.

Livin' On A Prayer

Ohh, we're half way there...

From the left: Kelly, Tiffany, Cara Mia, Yours Truly and Lenna

The usual suspects from Local 12 turned out for a little karaoke singin' at the Speak Easy in Northern Kentucky Friday night. What could be better than drinking beer and watching your friends sack up and step up to the mic for their fleeting moment of American Idol?

The Speak Easy is a Tri-State gem in that it's one of those hole in the wall spots with awesome food (Cincinnati Magazine has a feature on the Speak Easy in this month's Cheap Eats article. PS. I love how CM's teaser banner on Google calls it "the quintessential guidebook for the good life in Cincinnati") and low key expectations. No doubt, you will see all kinds of crazy folks at the SE. Some ladies like to let it all, and I mean all, hang out for their nightly forays at the SE. Other crooners dig out their best duds, including big brass buckles and starched, ironed Wranglers.

Last time we went there was this one urban cowboy who had some black t-shirt celebrating the joys of love in the back of a flatbed truck. The cowboy was a big boy, probably 6'4" or so, and easily weighed 250. Of course, there was no more appropriate song for our cowboy crooner than "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy," and that's exactly what he belted out when it was his turn.

Cowboy was poured in to his dark denim wranglers, and one of my female co-workers remarked "Those pants are so tight he probably can't sit down in them."

And no, he didn't.

Our crew was especially big last night at the SE. My good buddy Andy (the brother I never had) stepped up to give us his best rendition of Welcome to the Jungle (Bengals fever, anyone?) and Tiff's dad roused the crowd with several country songs including Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. I myself brought out a little bit of Janis and the ever popular, frequently requested Proud Mary. Tina Turner version, complete with the manic leg moving and wild hair waving.

A good time was had by all, indeed.

My night wrapped up quite nicely with the exchanging of digits with a handsome boy from the south side of the Ohio River. He's funny/smart/nice/tall, he looks like Conan O'Brian and he's a great kisser.

That's all I'm saying about that.

I'll keep you posted if anything develops worth reporting.

Live Energy

Call it Purple Haze Without the Odor
Rusted Root at the Duke Energy Center - Samantha Grier of the Cincinnati Post


Cincinnati wanted to open it's brand spankin' new convention center with a bang. A bang of a bongo drum, that is.

The Duke Energy Center flung open its doors for the first time to the general public, and the folks in tie dye and dread locks came in throngs. That's because the city opted to spring for the less obvious but just as enjoyable Rusted Root to christen the Grand Ballroom.

Think back to your days in college or high school (or maybe younger for some of you readers). RR probably made an appearance on one of your mix tapes back in the day, likely their big hig Send Me on My Way.

I know at least I was a big fan.

It's funny. My musical tastes haven't changed much, but my appearance sure has. I don't wear my painstakingly crafted hemp necklaces any more and I can't remember the last time I had a pair of Birkenstocks on my feet (though I'm not opposed to sporting those ugly/comfortable sandals). My style has evolved away from the left of center category to that of something that, well, you'd see at a Junior League meeting. The tie dye was tossed out long ago and I'm not really a fan of collecting any more t-shirts pimping out my favorite concert of the summer.

There I was, thick in the middle of an almost 40 year late Woodstock scene, complete with my teal blue polo shirt (no, I did not pop my collar) and my perfectly coifed hair-do. I felt kind of like a voyeur, watching people in the crowd do their fluid, far out, trance like dancing to the rapid beats of songs I used press repeat to on my CD player.

I started shaking my hips a little bit to groove my way back to my junior year in high school, surrendering my figurative membership to the Preppy Handbook club.

And it felt great.

Who cares what you look like. As long as you have a good time doin' whatever you're doing, it's good in my book.

Weekend Cocktail Party

From Friday's Feast

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you like your job?
I would say probably an 8 or a nine. There are some stresses that come with the territory, but I knew that getting in to the business. My biggest complaint is the pay ~ television news is not known for its lucrative opportunities. That said, there are many, many things I DO love about my job. It's exciting, It's ever changing. My career taps into my creativity and I really feel (sometimes) like I'm doing something for the greater good.

Soup
When was the last time you think you were lied to?
Maybe last Sunday?

Salad
Share some lyrics from some of your favorite songs.

Mint Royale - "Don't Falter" - Great song I really identify with
I used to feel so sad
and think too slow and drink too fast
Life had me blue and black
till someone came and changed me back
Now you see life
these colors shimmering around you
You must decide
to risk your heart for love to find you

Dave Matthews - "Two Step" - This is my favorite DM song. I love how it speaks to mankind's fleeting existence

Hey my love do you believe that we
Might last a thousand years
Or more if not for this?
Our flesh and blood it ties
You and me right up
Tie me down

Celebrate we will
Because life is short but sweet for certain
Were climbing two by two
To be sure these days continue,
These things we cannot change

Main Course
What do you do/take when you are in pain?
It depends. If I'm having "girly" problems, then it's usually a glass of red wine and a tylenol.
If I'm having a headache - I'm all about any kind of simple med. like Advil/Aleve/Tylenol/Midol.
Other than that, I'm pretty tough. I actually really hate taking any kind of medicine.

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: My _apartment_ is very _messy_.

Tuesday's Top Ten (A Day Late, Again)

Top Ten Things In My Purse (And Related Weblinks)

10. USA Today article on Chick Lit. It's like a Summer Vacation for the mind. I am definitely going to need something light to read after toiling over A Million Little Pieces (which is rough to get through and totally disgusting. I'm sooo over it, but forcing myself to plow through. Yes, I am so behind the rest of the literary crowd, but at least I'm not reading The DaVinci Code.)

9. A business card for Joanne Honschopp. She does the most incredible artwork showcasing Cincinnati's landmarks. Think Fountain Square, Mount Adams, the Roebling bridge. Stunning pieces. It's worth looking at her website.

8. A receipt for my car payment, which I paid eight days late (but still scraped by that 10 day grace period). I was waiting to see if I had some pressing engine exploding kind of car trouble. Now the HSBC car loan shark flunkies can stay off my back a little longer.

7. Smith's Rosebud Salve. It's the best lip balm (and cuticle moisturizer) a girl can buy. Rumor has it the stuff comes in other flavors/scents but that has yet to be confirmed by yours truly. One thing I do know: Sephora at Kenwood Towne Center has it in stock.

6. A fruit masher courtesy of Koggen, a microbrew from Boston. The plastic masher is used to squeeze the juice out of the orange slice served with the beer (which is very similar to a Blue Moon, for you brew connoisseurs). I've had the masher in my purse since April and haven't had the heart to toss it. You never know when a good orange masher will come in handy.

5. My Olympus digital camera. It's small enough to tote around (it even fits in some of my smaller going out purses) for your day-in day-out photography whims.

4. Tampons. I'm a chick. Do you really need an explanation?

3. My Coach sunglasses. I want to graduate to a great pair of Gucci sunglasses I saw on Amazon for a hundred bucks. Check it out.

2. My cell phone. I'm one of those anti-landline kind of people, so my cellie is my lifeline. I don't intend on ever changing my phone number, that way my friends (and those loan shark flunkies) will always be able to reach me. I have Sprint PCS and I hate my service. I can't remember how long I'm locked in for - I need to investigate that because the service in my part of Cincinnati totally blows.

1. My planner. I never know what's going on until I consult my bible. My particular version can also solve dilemmas including

• How to treat a bullet or knife wound.
• How to stop a car with failed brakes.
• How to survive a hostage situation.

In a measure related to that last bullet point, Newsweek has recanted it's original, 1986 statement that a 40 year old woman was more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married.

Oh joy.

Updates

The check engine thing:
No need to pass the hat around for poor, old Kate. At least not yet. My car is likely not going to blow up, as the fine folks at Saab say the light is merely a warning my engine and car computer are not communicating.

Apparently my car will "ride a little rough" until I get it fixed, penciled in for June 30th.

The Ode to a Black Stilletto blah blah thing:
I am without a standing date, once again. It's a long story and, well, since this is my blog I guess I'm entitled to go into it.

Basically

• John says he's "really attracted to me"/"we have great chemistry"/I'm "super smart and know lots of big words"/I'm "beautiful" etc.
• John says he's surprised he doesn't feel more for me since we've been dating for the past 2 and a half months (but have seen each other only as frequently as once a week and would talk outside of that one other time a week)
• John just wants to be friends
  

This is what I think about things:

• John is expecting a lot out of this relationship up front.
• There are a few things about John (which I won't divulge here since it's a mute point) that drive me crazy so I shouldn't be all worked up but I guess I am.
• I'm kind of bummed because I enjoy spending time with him and I don't know whether we'll see each other as frequently.
• John will definitely regret this someday.
• There are other fish in the sea and I should look at this as an opportunity to "throw another one back."

I think someday John and I will be able to look back on this and laugh about the time we dated, as I think I could consider him a good friend down the road.

On another note, there are other "irons in the fire" as I like to tell John, and I will inform y'all on a Need To Know basis.

That's all I got right now.

I'm out.

Ode To A Sexy, Black Stilletto

Oh, how you wipe the Boy Blues away.

Your saucy, svelte heel and your smooth, kit glove leather slide make me feel fine
when I am less than stellar.

I love you, oh, new pair of shoes.
You make me want to walk catwalks and planks
and streets and away. Away from a boy
who missed out on seeing these fab pair of shoes.
Your graceful arch and dynamite detailing are the perfect
therapy of retailing
to boost my blues and wipe away those fears and tears
of being alone.

With my stillettos.

These shoes are made for walking, indeed. And strutting,
and sassing and sashaying my way through
to a mood becoming of a this broad. Who needs a wishy washy date?
(afraid to be a mate)
when I can put on my shoes and be
invisible
to the insecurities of being a bachelorette
And better yet
I can wear my toe-type talisman
One day worn and already
Confident - Comfortable
As a well worn, much loved
pair of shoes.

Check Engine

Sometimes I feel like life is a lot like spinning plates.

I imagine myself to be dressed up in a tuxedo and top hat, front and center at some retro show like the Ed Sullivan Show.

I'm running around, trying to make sure all those plates are whirling in the air, terrified any one of those pieces of porcelain could come crashing down off its stick at any moment.

These plates don't come from any specific china pattern. All a mish mash of designs, but all precious to my life. Finances. Family. I run over to the Work plate and give it a good spin before it gets good and wobbly. Home whirls around without any trouble, and right next to it is Faith, and Social Life is right beyond.

You have to tend to each plate accordingly. Spending too much time on one will lead a few others to get off kilter, threatening those teetering revolutions. And just when I feel like every plate is spinning along smoothly, something happens and one falls off its stick.

Right now I'm worried one of my plates could come crashing down at any moment.

Last night the Check Engine light lit up my dashboard.

I don't know what the problem is, and am a bit of a Nervous Nelly when it comes to these kinds of things. I've got about 50 bucks in savings and am just praying this is just some random, tiny tweak of a problem. I am three heartbeats away from terrified and have just about bit all of my nails off over this taxing situation.

What happens if my engine explodes? What happens if my engine needs hundreds and hundreds (and hundreds) of dollars in work? What happens if I am stranded in some God-forsaken place at an inopportune time? How would I get to work if my car breaks down?

What happens if something terrible happens and I am injured (or worse) in a bad car crash?

These are the kind of daymares running through my head when I'm not distracted by the day to day things like work, crushes on boys and other sugar-plummed thoughts.

I called the local Saab dealership and have an appointment on Monday (since I'm already taking it off as a vacation day) so they can repair something related to a recall. Hopefully they can just hook my car up to their computer and find out what is setting off the light.

I know it's not my gas cap. I clicked it three times to make sure it wasn't loose and affecting my gas tank.

Lord, have mercy.

That's all I can have in this situation. Faith. Thank goodness I have a lot of it.

Full Belly

From Friday's Feast

Appetizer
What is a word that you use that would not be considered common?
Gosh. I can't really think of any off the top of my head. I do have a wide and varied vocabulary though, and the guy I'm seeing says he doesn't understand half the words I say, so I'm guessing I use more than a couple esoteric and enigmatic terms.

Soup
What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
The Worst-Case Scenario 2006 Survival Guide

Salad
Name 3 people you speak with by telephone a regular basis.
My mother
My father
My sister (the middle one, not the baby)

Main Course
If you could buy a new outfit for someone you know - who would it be and what would you purchase for them?
It would be for me. How selfish is that?

Seriously, I'd get some new duds for this girl I know who has the most bizarre body construction. Her figure lends me to believe she's had some liposuction on her abdomen. This woman tends to wear very fitted tops, usually in light colors. I would like to see her in a dark colored top, preferably cut in a flowing design.

PS. It has given me a new perspective on lipo. I say thumbs down until the person considering it can lose some weight on his or her own. It looks so odd when someone is thin in one spot and heavy everywhere else.

Dessert
What is the last beverage you drank?
A fountain version of Diet Coke from Mickey D's. Was really disappointed in the syrup to soda ratio. Really watered down today. I'm sticking with cans, baby.

Strange Searching

Lots of people get to my blog randomly. Over the almost two years of posting, I've written about so many random, thought provoking topics. There's likely something that appeals to everyone.

Even you freaky types.

Here's a look through my IP counter at the most recent search results, some of them are interesting. Any repeats indicate the same search from different IP addresses.

my house is dark and my pots are cold
dirty girls
kates random musings
how to get the guy
how to get the guy
junior league provisional
how to get the guy
how to get the guy
ghetto lipstick
sexy blonde bitch
dont waste pretty

Where The Hell Have I Been? I'm Totally Calling It...

Tori Spelling is totally pregnant.

Why else would she wear this hidious outfit?

Thanks to the girls at gofugyourself for the heads up.

The couple denied it a week ago, but you judge for yourself.

Tuesday's Top Ten (Albeit A Day Late): How To Flirt

I watched that ABC show How To Get The Guy on Monday night. Not bad, in all, and I even learned a few things about reeling the opposite sex into my snare.

Truth be told, I have a difficult time letting a guy know I'm interested in him (this coming from the girl who once downed a live cicada on a dare to impress a guy). I either go for broke and engage in a full on attack on his senses and essentially ask him out (which apparently guys do not go for?) or I initiate a complete retreat, powerless to even look at or talk to the intended target.

Hey, wait. When did flirting with a guy become a battle?

Well, ladies. I guess some of you would say it has.

Here's a look at what I'm guessing is the best weaponry as you try to catch the prince and make him yours for good.

10. Buy him a drink. I suppose it can be a modern day version of "dropping the hanky" as the coaches on The Show repeatedly refer to.

9. Smile. Forget the lipstick and the eyeliner. It's so corny, but there's nothing else you can do to make your face look a million times better. If you can genuinely show your target that you're happy and having a good time, then you're steps ahead everyone else. Besides, do you think guys want to date a sourpuss.

8. Out and out flattery. Compliments go a long way. Don't you love it when someone gives you props for a new pair of shoes or a new haircut? Guys feel the same way. Whether it be their eyes, their shirt or the way they drive a car, make sure you give them a genuine compliment. You'll be sending them a message to keep doin' what they're doing, so you don't want to pat him on the back for something that could end up driving you crazy.

7. Touch him. Not that way, you dirty girl! At least not yet... Step into their personal space a little bit and touch their arm or knee, depending on the dynamics of the situation. That little bit of contact is a great way to let them know you're there and interested in being close.

6. Stare. The coaches on the show say four seconds is the minimum to set the tone and let someone know you're into him. True story: my mother stared a man down in a bar 32 years ago. Today they're happily married and have three kids. I guess if it worked for her (and my mom isn't a ballsy type) it can work for any of us.

5. Know something about sports. I don't care if you're an expert on curling, mushing in Alaska or cricket. Guys like sports. They get sports. If you can at least speak a little bit of their language (and let's hope it's not Klingon), they'll really dig ya.

4. Impress him. Back to the bug eating thing. Okay, so it wasn't the most romantic endeavor I've participated in, but it did make me stand out. Whether you're a dynamite karaoke star or a whiz at political trivia, have something in your back pocket you can pull out to make your guy sit back and stare in amazement.

3. Entice him with your beauty. Okay. You don't have to bring out the girls (unless that's your schtick), but do preen a little bit and show him what makes you special. Maybe it's your great gams or your ghetto booty. Maybe you lick your Angelinalicious lips. Every chick has one spot on her bod that she's proud of. Accentuate it. Love it. Live it.

2. Repeated contact. Let's face it. Some guys (read: all) are not in tune with the way we communicate. Sometimes you need to essentially hit them over the head with a billyclub. Who knows. Maybe they misinterpret that arm touch as your way of stabilizing yourself in those four inch stillettos. Maybe they think you're staring because you have a thyroid condition. Maybe they take your lip licking as a habit when you're sans chapstick. You've got to keep all these little techniques up so the light finally goes on, Oh... this chick is into me.

1. Be yourself. It's so cliche, but it's Rule Numero Uno. How miserable would it be to snag some guy who likes you because you're acting like you've got a stick shoved up your ass? Chances are you'd catch the antithesis of your perfect match. If you're sporty and silly, be that way. If you're a high maintenance chick who likes wine tastings and Mondrian art, then get on with your bad self. At some point you'll gravitate towards someone who likes you just the way you are.


Now all I need to do is follow my own advice. I'll keep you posted!

Nickel Diming

So I survived the weekend and I've got about seven bucks in my wallet.

Pretty good considering I went to a Reds baseball game, ate steak and spent a night drinking.

Thursday I cooked dinner for my dad. Pad Thai was on the menu (one of my specialties), so Dad picked up a bottle of white wine, then he took me out for ice cream afterwards. Only one flavor will do when you go to Graeter's - Double Chocolate Chip. I also had to try a scoop of Buckeye Blitz- chocolate ice cream with bits of buckeye candies.

Heaven in a cup.

Friday I went over to my friend Big Blue Blood's parents' house for a pool party/cookout shindig. I spent nine bucks and change on Rice Krispies, marshmallows and chocolate chips so I could whip up a twist on those Rice Krispy Treats that everybody loves. Cereal's one of those things where I'm not brand loyal. I am fiercely loyal to Viva towels, Degree deodorant and Jif peanut butter. I don't really know why. Anyway. I also picked up a can of Sky Line Chili and some shredded cheese for the Cincinnati favorite Sky Line Dip. In all, I didn't feel bad about the nine bucks spent at the store.

Saturday was low key until I met some friends at a Covington bar for a pre-Reds game beer. That set me back $2.75. My friend's date bought me another beer for the Willie's Bus ride over to the stadium and my friend paid my two buck fee to ride the bus. The ticket for the Reds/Cubs game was $17, but I won't have to pay that back until payday when Big Blue Blood and I go hear pitcher Bronson Arroyo play his guitar at a charity concert. I spent $4.75 for some cheese fries at the ball park, and they were worth every cent.

The game was great, even if about a third of the people at Great American were Cubbies fans. The weather was a real damper, too. Thank God for North Face gortex. I can't believe I toughed it out at a rainy baseball game, but it actually was a lot of fun, and I'd do it again.

Sunday was pretty cheap, too, until I went all crazy at the grocery store. I bought a London Broil steak since it was on sale for, like, two bucks a pound ($4.65), I bought a plastic clamshell full of organic mixed lettuce with herbs ($2.50), four ears of corn at 10 for two bucks (80 cents) A jug of milk ($2.45), vanilla toffee caramel coffee creamer ($1.50). All together it a came to about 12 bucks and change.

I ate really well last night and will be eating steak salads for the rest of the week.

I know I can last to Thursday morning on the seven bucks in my pocket, even if I have to do a load of laundry.

I can't wait until I can spend money on a Nonfat sugar-free vanilla latte at Starbucks and some good beer.

From Friday's Feast

Appetizer
About how much money did you spend on gas this week?
Zip. Zero. Zilch. I bought all my gas last week and plan on refueling next Thursday. My gas tank lasts me about two weeks, which is a good thing considering I spend about 45 bucks a fill up.
Soup
What is your favortite brand of toilet paper?
TP is one thing where I believe in brand loyalty. I am an exclusive Charmin user. I like the Plus kind because it's extra fluffy. None of that one ply stuff for my ass...
Salad
When was the last time you discovered something that you thought was pure genius?
The circle? I don't know, maybe Blogger or the Amazing Race. I haven't seen anything recently that I regard as truly miraculous or incredulous, and perhaps that's the news cynic in me.
Main Course
What is the least amount of sleep you can get by on per night?
When I was on the morning show I did just fine on four hours. That meant, of course, that I had a two hour nap somewhere in there. I would say five hours of night time sleeping is as low as I can go.
Dessert
June is a popular month for weddings. Do you know anyone who is getting married this month?
No. But as an aside, the health story in my newscast today dealt specifically with looking and feeling younger. Some scientists (I don't exactly know who these cretins are) say people look younger if they're

• married
• raising children
• have money

Seeing that I am/have none of these, I must be aging rapidly.

Bollocks!

Tight Ass

I am broke as a joke.

Well, okay. Not really broke. I've got $39.73 in my pocket because I just paid off a whopping credit card bill.

It feels good to be a little bit more "debt free" than I was a week ago, but I'm not really keen on the fact I've got 39 measly bucks to my name until June 15th.


So, I'm going to take this opportunity to see just how far I can spread my cash flow. I plan on posting a running tab of my spending in a daily report. Y'all can let me know if I'm doing well with my being economical and spending my money wisely (likely not).

I know some of you have your own ghetto broke stories. Feel free to give me some tips to help me make it to next Thursday.

Thursday June 8th

Today I brown bagged it to work. I had a Smart Ones meal in the freezer at work, so I just brought along the rest of my stuff. Mandarin Oranges fruit cup, applesauce cup, box of raisins and a packet of cinnamon apple oatmeal (I lost my pink Barbie lunch box back in 1985).

I did spend 25 cents on a cup of coffee at work (large moccachino with the high test stuff) $39.48 remaining but I don't feel so bad about that because I needed a caffeine kick in the ass.

Tonight dinner is on me. My dad is cooking so I'm whipping up a mean Pad Thai dish. He's picking up a bottle of wine - score! on my not having to shell out for the alcohol.

Spent today - 25 cents
Left in the bank - $39.48

Synaptic Meanderings

I had a fabulous time giving my best gal pal a send off. D-Money has left the building, so to speak, and is hanging out this summer in Columbus before she jets off to get edjumakated in Jolly Old London. The big send off was at the Hoffbrauhaus, and there was plenty of beer to be had by all. Hijinks ensued involving your dear Kate and a specific bet that led me to bring out the big cojones and ask someone out. If it sounds like I'm being cryptic, well, I am intentionally. All I know is that I am operating on a premise that the HH is similar to Las Vegas, what happens there stays there, and that's all that needs to be said about that.

Is any of this making any sense? Maybe it's not supposed to...

Anyway, it's going to be tough living without the day in/day out moments that come with Miss Denae, but somehow I'll learn to survive. D-Money intends on spending lots of weekend in Cincinnati and getting in some quality time on my couch, so there are sure to be a few good, wild stories left to celebrate.

In other news:

I don't know why but for some reason one of my favorite songs hit me like a sucker punch, sending me reeling into a sea of long gone memories involving someone I hadn't really thought of in months. Music is funny business. It has a way of drawing us to places and faces of the past, much like the scent of smell (which scientists say is the strongest and most closely associated with memory). I've listened to DMB's Crash album hundreds of times since that time in my life when the music actually meant something to me. Years ago the songs felt like the painful opening of a hard, brown scab. Today #41 reminded me of that time when I used to trick myself into thinking I was in a band with someone I cared about. I guess some things can never be forgotten, they only become a little bit more rosy with time.

The Junior League is calling.

I "made" it into the Cincinnati chapter of the civic group, and I'm really looking forward to it. I think, aside from the opportunity to meet new people and make some friends, the group will also be a wonderful chance to give back some of my time to people and causes who really need it. I'm not really a high roller and don't have a bunch of cash laying around to help out those causes I'd like to, so the league should be a good opportunity pitch in. I am a bit weary about the whole "Stepford" reputation and Sorority for Big Girls philosophy. I'll keep you posted.

Vegas is, well, not really coming together as I planned. D-Money can't come since she's getting ready to move across The Pond, and I don't think my good friend who flies planes for a living can come, either. I am still counting on my sister and brother in law to make the trip to Sin City, but they're still being a bit wishy washy on the whole deal. Bummer. I really wish I had more nailed down by now, as I really don't want to cancel my plans, either.

Further on the horizon, I am planning on a trip to England in October. I really need to start pinching pennies and looking for other opportunities to make some dough for the sojourn.

Oh, I nearly forgot. Dating.

Well, It's still going on. John and I are still dating but I'm really unsure how to define us. I guess we're not really defined as much of anything, though we've seen each other nearly every weekend since April First. I think we're just going slow and taking things as they come.

Three of my mottos in life:
Patience is a virtue.
Good things come to those who wait.
Everything happens for a reason.

Lunch Time Leisure

Friday's Feast
Appetizer
On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being highest), how funny do you think you are?
I think I'm about an 8. I tell all kinds of crazy stories and I don't mind doing something funny at my own expense.
Soup
Name a local restaurant would you recommend to a visitor to your town or city.
I love Teak Thai in the heart of Mount Adams. Great sushi, great Thai, great scene and people watching.
Salad
What's a lesson you were lucky enough to learn the easy way?
I've learned just about everything the hard way. I guess I learned how to swim and drive without any trouble. I picked up the strokes pretty well and swam competitively for seven years. As for driving, I aced the written and the manual the first time, and I didn't get into my first crash until I had my license for nine years.
Main Course
Where would you like to be 5 years from now?
Anywhere, as long as I am happily in love and working in a career that is both challenging and enriching.
Dessert
If you could see the front page of a newspaper from June 2, 2106, what would you imagine the headline might be?
Gosh, I hope there still are newspapers then.