Green Beer and Soda Bread

Thank you, Friday's Feast, for the meme.

Appetizer
What job would you definitely not want to have?
True story: I remember a million years ago the Cincinnati Enquirer ran a pic of people working for local (and global) Procter and Gamble. The job was to smell armpits to compare smelly vs. not so smelly armpits. Yuck.

Soup
Oprah calls and wants you to appear on her show. What would that day's show be about?
Single women who are fabulous and reasonably comfortable with their solo status. I'd show Oprah my battery boyfriend and invite her on the annual "There's No Telling What Happens In Vegas" trip.

Salad
Name 3 vegetables that you eat on a regular basis.
Tomatoes. green beans. onions.

Main Course
If you were commissioned to rename your hometown, what would you call it?
Hyperconservativille.

Dessert
If you had a personal assistant, what kind of tasks would you have them to do?
They would have to enjoy domestic duties. I'd need someone to do my laundry, clean out my car, wash and dry my dishes (since I don't have a dishwasher). I'd also ask them to keep track of my hair appointments, doctor visits and court appearances.*

*Yes. Court appearances. I am fighting my Expired Tags ticket since I have evidence from the state that proves they were renewed the DAY BEFORE the ticket.

I went to court Wednesday and sat in the wrong courtroom for an hour and 45 minutes because the cop wrote the wrong room number on the ticket (the computer to verify hearings was broken). I made it to the right courtroom really late, and apparently put a warrant out on me (for 200 bucks) when I didn't show up at roll call. A bailiff took pity on me (since I was dressed up and looked a bit more "professional" than my counterparts) and asked the clerk where my case file was.

Anyway. The judge heard my case, I pleaded not guilty, and now my bench trial (yes, trial) is scheduled for next Wednesday.

All for expired tags.

Much ado about nothing, I say. Oh well, I'm a taxpayer and I'm gonna use the system.